


A New Friendship Born

by Miuku



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship, But Please Read This Anyway I Want People To Read My Stuff, Friendship, Gen, I don't know what to tag this, Not spirk yet because they literally met a few days ago let them become friends first, Why Did I Write This?, becoming friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 18:29:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12041718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miuku/pseuds/Miuku
Summary: Two days after The Narada has been destroyed, U.S.S. Enterprise is slowly trying to get back to Earth. Spock is alone, thinking about things, when Kirk comes in. Some minutes of conversation is the start of something that might become a friendship.





	A New Friendship Born

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I'm not even pretending this is good. This was mostly written in the middle of a night and it's not going anywhere really. And I had no beta, so every single grammar mistake, typo, and thing where this doesn't match canon, is completely my fault. Also while it's POV 3rd person it mostly only shows what goes on inside Spock's head, because I wanted to tell a story about Spock, and also about how Spock views Kirk. Writing him is a bit hard though, and I know his speech really doesn't sound like him. This has a lot of loose ends, stuff that I was going to explore but didn't because the conversation kinda went on its own and I didn't know how to direct it back to the things I intended to mention, and stuff that I am going to explore but only in later fics, not in this one. This is also my first finished fic of the fandom, so I'm not used to writing these characters.
> 
> Oh, and English is not my first language, so there might be a lot of grammar mistakes that have slipped by me. If you find anything, please tell me so I can avoid the mistake in the future!
> 
> Okay, so I realize this turned into one big apology about ever writing this fanfic and if you're still convinced you wanna read this, you're probably screaming of frustration of how long this note is. I'll let you read now. I hope you enjoy this little thing that I wrote!

Spock was standing alone in the observation dome of USS Enterprise. It was the night time of the ship’s artificial cycle, and most crew members who were not on on duty were sleeping. Those who were not, were all in their own quarters, doing something quiet and going to sleep soon. Spock enjoyed the silence and dim lights. It meant that he could think of his private things and no one needed him somewhere all the time.

He stared at the stars, trying to recognize each, find out where the ship was. For once, now when he knew he was alone, he let his feelings take over him. All the pain, sorrow, anger, fear and stress of the past few days came out all at once. He cried until his eyes were red and his face wet and no more tears came. He hit the wall until his hands hurt and he had to stop before his knuckles would start bleeding. People would start asking questions if he was bleeding. When he finally stopped and started trying to get himself under control again, he was shaking and out of breath.

He wiped out the tears from his eyes. He took a few steps back from the wall. Then he started talking to himself, even though he knew it wouldn't make himself feel much better. _Calm down. Calm down. Breathe. A deep breath in, and now one out. Repeat. Calm down. I am going to be okay. First I will return to Earth, and then I will go with father and others to the new Vulcan colony when a suitable planet is found. Things will work out. I will be okay._

Suddenly Spock realized that someone was just outside the door and about to come in. He ran a hand through his hair, straightened his blue uniform shirt and took a deep breath to calm himself. He turned around as the door opened to see who was coming in.

It was Kirk. Captain Kirk, Spock reminded himself. Kirk seemed tired, and no wonder. It had now been two days since the destruction of Vulcan and the whole thing with Nero, and Spock was under the impression that Kirk had not slept after the night before that. He watched Kirk walk into the room, a PADD in hand, clearly concentrating to whatever was on the screen. His hair was messy and dirty. His clothes and skin seemed dirty too - had he not even changed clothes or showered in the past two days?

A moment later Kirk noticed Spock. He raised his head and looked at Spock for a moment before recognizing him. Then he managed to get a smile on his face. It was good acting, but not quite enough to convince Spock that he was actually happy.

“Oh, hi Spock. Didn’t expect to find you here this late”, Kirk said. “Don’t Vulcans sleep?”

“Good evening, captain. I was not expecting you to come here either. To answer your question, we do sleep, but we do not require as much sleep as humans. Should you not be sleeping as well?” Spock answered.

“Don’t have time for sleep. So much to arrange and report and all that. And then mother decided to send a message as well, so now I’m trying to keep up a chat with her. While arranging everything that needs my attention at the same time. Trying to be good enough at being a captain.” Kirk said like he wouldn't need sleep.

Something in Kirk’s choice of words caught Spock’s attention. For a moment he wondered what before it hit him. The word “mother”, that was it. Most humans often used “mom” instead of “mother”, and Kirk was so often giving nicknames to people that it would have been logical for him to do it too.

Then Kirk cut his thoughts. “By the way, what’s your excuse for not sleeping?”

Spock kept silent. It was none of Kirk’s business. The true reason was nightmares. Waking up sweaty and sheets messed up and blanket wrapped too tightly around them. Whispering his mother’s name just after waking up. Just after seeing her fall, only a little out of his reach. Seeing his home planet being sucked into a black hole. And the feelings of fear and helplessness as he saw The Narada. The big and dark ship. Uncontrolled anger, wanting to kill every single one of those Romulans. Heading right towards the heart of the bigger ship with that medusa ship, intending to die, not to come back. But still being beamed back. Surviving.

“Nightmares?” Kirk asked suddenly. “Flashbacks? Feeling of guilt because you survived and so many didn’t?”

For a moment Spock was too shocked to answer. _How did he know?_ He noticed that Kirk had moved closer to a window, and his back was now towards Spock so he didn’t see Kirk’s face. Spock moved closer to the window too, next to his captain.

“Yes”, he said finally.

“Listen. That’s… not unusual, at least in humans who go through traumatic events. So… if… if that keeps getting worse, or you feel that you can’t live with it, or it doesn’t go away soon… then talk to someone. Promise me that, okay? ‘Cause that’s not good. And… well, it might not go away, even then, even if you do let someone help you. But maybe it doesn’t get worse. Maybe you’ll learn to live a normal life with it. Maybe it even does disappear. Honestly, I don’t know how that works. But if you feel that things that happened get in way of your normal life. Don’t tell yourself that it’s normal and you don’t need to care. Don’t leave yourself alone with it. Maybe - hopefully - you won’t even need this advice, but please remember it. Promise me. Please.” There was a friendly but pleading tone in Kirk’s voice. He really wanted Spock to listen, and to keep it in mind.

Spock looked at his captain. He saw that Kirk’s face was deadly serious, completely different from his usual happy grin. His eyes were unfocused. Spock realized that Kirk was thinking about something, maybe some past event that had happened long time ago. Whatever it was that he thought, it wasn’t happy. This man clearly had his own battles too. Spock didn’t know what those were or if they were in the past and already won or if he was still fighting them, but he could tell that they had been hard.

“If you think it is really that important, I will keep your advice in mind, captain. Though I would like to know why you see that as so important thing to tell me”, he said.

“Because you’re part of my crew, and I wanna make sure my crew is okay. Is that good enough answer for you? I mean, hell, I don’t even know if you can develop human mental illnesses. But you’re half human, so you might. Wanna make sure you know what to do in case it starts looking like you can. Anyway.” Kirk suddenly changed subject. “Now that you’re here, I could as well ask you now… There’s stuff I need to talk about with you and Bones - I mean Doctor McCoy. Tomorrow, preferably quite early, since it’s really really important. Bones said he’ll have time somewhere between 10am and 1pm. How about you?”

“I believe I can make time for it anywhere between that time. May I ask what is it about?” Spock answered.

“Okay then, we’ll meet at 11am in my quarters if that’s fine? And well, the problem is food. The Ship's in bad shape, and it will take long, probably at least two months, to get back to Earth. That means there’s no way we’ll have enough food for everyone on board until we reach Earth unless we start rationing it now. I’ll need you ‘cause you know how little a Vulcan can safely survive with, and you’re good at math. And besides, I suppose you can notice better if we start splitting it unfairly, since we humans are quite selfish creatures sometimes… And I’ll need Doctor McCoy, because he knows limits of human body better than I do, and he knows the number of people who are sick or badly injured and will not survive with as little as more healthy people”, Kirk said.

“And what will you do if there’s still not enough food for all?” Spock asked. He wished it would not come to that, but that possibility existed and had to be considered too.

Kirk froze completely for a moment. It seemed that he had not even considered the possibility.

“Then I’ll drop myself out of the list for either as long as we need or as long as humanly possible, and probably ask Mr. Scott if there’s anything he can do to give us more speed. Probably nothing, but I’ll ask anyway. And if that’s still not enough, I’ll look if there’s any healthy crew members who would volunteer to not eat for some time either. If that’s still not enough, I’ll stop eating for longer time than possible, make you a captain again, and die before we reach Earth. But I don’t think it’ll come to that. I’m quite sure just limiting the amount of food everyone eats will be enough”, he answered.

Spock looked at Kirk, trying to find signs that he was joking. Surely someone like he wouldn’t even consider sacrificing himself like that? He always gave the impression that he was selfish man who would never let others come first. But no, Kirk seemed to be completely serious about his plan. No smile, no happiness in his voice, no anything that would mean he was joking.

“What?” Kirk asked. “Don’t look at me like that. We’ll talk more about that tomorrow if it becomes important. In the case that I’ll decide to do it, I’m trusting you to defend my idea because Bones isn’t gonna let me do that easily. But it won’t happen. we won’t need that plan. Besides, I _stole_ the captain’s position from you anyway. Why should you care? Did I ever even apologize? Oh God, I’m sorry. I didn’t even do that. I’m sorry about everything I said. I’m so sorry. Really. It was really unfair. I’m such an asshole. Sorry. I shouldn’t have done it.”

Spock was surprised by Kirk’s sudden apology. He hadn’t expected to ever hear even as much as “I’m sorry”. Now Kirk begged for his forgiveness. He looked like he was about to cry. He seemed to truly regret everything he had done and said. Spock wasn’t sure what to do.

“You had a good reason to do it. You saved us all by doing it because I wouldn’t listen”, he finally responded.

“That still doesn’t make it okay. I had no right to say anything what I said. I’m sorry.”

“You are forgiven”, Spock said. “Now, captain, I recommend you go to sleep. It is quite late. If you do not take care of yourself, eventually you will become unable to take care of anyone else either.”

“Yeah. Maybe you’re right.” Kirk turned to leave. Just before he got out of the door, he turned back. “One last thing. I know I’ve been a dick and have done nothing to deserve your trust or respect, but… honestly, I’d like to be your friend. So if you ever want company, want to talk or have a chess match or whatever. You can ask me. If you want to, of course. Up to you. But well, at least I did offer that. Goodnight, Spock.”

“I will consider that. Thank you. Goodnight… Jim.” Spock said.

Kirk smiled. Then he turned around and walked out of the door.

Spock waited for a moment, watching the faraway stars. While he couldn’t quite tell what, he felt that something had just changed. And he knew that his captain had just showed him a very private side of himself. While a big part of it had been body language and therefore probably not conscious, it still meant that he trusted Spock a lot, letting his guard down that much. Spock wondered how many others on the ship had had even a short look to that secret side of Kirk. The side that was fragile and dark and sad and caring. _Maybe, just maybe_ , he thought, _I could take that offer of friendship. Maybe he is a good friend, once I know him._

He promised himself to think about it. Then he took one more look at the space outside the window before turning around and leaving. Vulcans needed less sleep than humans, but they still needed some sleep. He knew he would need a few hours of sleep too, and now was night and no one needed him.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I'm impressed you made it this far. Thank you for reading it! Comments, both praise (if you actually think this is good, unlike I do), and constructive criticism is welcome!


End file.
